Gonzo’s Antics – Memories of One Cool Cat | Part V: The Habitual Hairdresser

Gonzo Cat Antics
Here’s Gonzo, playfully attacking my head. (2001 or 2002)

March 17, 2019

Author: Melissa Sitzman

Part V:

The Habitual Hairdresser


Gonzo had a weird obsession, with people’s hair. So much so, that he usually slept on my pillow. He would curl up, around my head, while purring and “making biscuits” in my hair. Because kittens knead their mothers while they’re nursing, I imagine that my hair reminded Gonzo of his cat mom. Other than the few times that I woke up with cat drool in my ear, it didn’t bother me. In fact, it helped me fall asleep! Other people weren’t so amused.

My ex husband and I, often had friends over on the weekend to play cards, watch sporting events on television and just have a good time. It wasn’t unusual for a friend to spend the night. I didn’t mind because we had a guest bedroom and a big, comfortable couch. I remember one night, in particular. When a good friend named Jeff, stayed on our couch.
It was late and I had to work in the morning so, I gave Jeff a blanket and pillow and headed to bed. About ten minutes after laying down I hear Jeff calling out to me, “Melissa…. Melissa! Can you come get Gonzo?”

“Yeah, I’m coming.”I answered, wondering what Gonzo was up to. I reluctantly got out of bed and went into the living room. There, I saw Gonzo, literally, laying on top of Jeff’s head! “Help,”was all he could manage to say, with a twenty pound black cat, perched on his noggin. I tried not to laugh but, did, as I picked Gonzo up.

I apologized to Jeff and carried Gonzo to my bedroom. I got Gonzo to lay down and so did I. I had just starting to fall asleep, when I hear Jeff, again. Only, this time, I can’t make out what he’s saying! I get up and rush to the living room and there’s Jeff with his pillow, covering his head. Gonzo was standing on top of it, trying to get at his hair. “Gonzo, no,”I exclaimed as I swooped him up. This time I made sure he fell asleep before I did.

The next morning, Jeff was sitting at the dining room table when I got up. He looked like a wreck! His eyes were blood shot and his hair was a complete mess. “Are you ok? Why are you up already?” I asked. Jeff shoots me a sarcastic smile and says, “I’m up because I couldn’t sleep! I was too busy trying to hide my hair from your cat, all night long! I finally gave up at about 5 o’clock this morning. I think I slept for about 2 hours.”

I tried really hard to contain my laughter but, couldn’t help it. I don’t know if it was due to lack of sleep but, Jeff started laughing, too! Then Jeff proceeded to tell me how he attempted to deter Gonzo, in every way possible. He said he tried using his pillow, tried putting his head under the covers, etc. but, nothing worked. He ended up falling asleep with Gonzo purring, while giving him a new hairdo!

Gonzo didn’t stop there, either, he did the same thing to just about anyone, that ever spent the night. It’s amazing we had any friends left!

Gonzo 3 – Humans 0
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Gonzo’s Antics – Memories of One Cool Cat | Part IV : Naughty or Nice

Cool Cat, Gonzo, at 15 years old.

Author: Melissa Sitzman

March 11, 2019

Part IV : Naughty or Nice


If you’ve read Part I, Part II and Part III of this series, you may be thinking something along the lines of;

“Gonzo doesn’t sound like a very cool cat, he sounds like a naughty cat!”

And I can understand why you might think that. He could definitely be a trouble maker but, can’t all cats!? Have you ever met a cat that didn’t defy their human(s), in one way or another? I haven’t. In fact, I think that’s part of why we are so drawn to them.

Here’s what made Gonzo such a “cool cat;”

He demanded attention, affection and lots of play time. He craved human interaction, much like a dog and he always greeted people at the front door.

Not only would he greet you, he would follow you around and meow at you! I imagine he was asking questions about where I had been or who visitors were. If you asked him a question, he would answer with a meow. I swear sometimes he could understand people!

Gonzo, also, had the natural ability to “work” a room full of people. My ex husband and I, often had a group of friends over on Friday and Saturday nights. Gonzo loved it! By the end of the night, every single person would have played with him and his favorite toy. Even people who had declared not liking cats, couldn’t resist his charm! Everyone who met him, loved him.

He was full of energy and fearless. He never (in about 16 years of having him) acted depressed. He had a “happy go lucky” attitude and remained playful, up until the very end of his life. He wasn’t afraid of dogs. He didn’t care about moving and thought of it as an adventure. I could even walk him on a leash!

At the end of the day, the most important thing…. he made me laugh. Even when I was at my absolute worst and didn’t care to get out of bed. Gonzo wouldn’t allow for that to happen! He would head bump, cry, climb, jump and even gently paw at my eyelids, until I got up! He had an attitude towards life, that I wish I had. He loved, just about, every day of his, and that’s admirable. Cat or not.

I feel like I owe him for keeping me going. That’s why I’m writing this series. To share some of the funny things he did, throughout his life. So that, just maybe, he can still make people laugh.

He shouldn’t be forgotten.

R.I.P. Gonzo (12/1/1998 – 10/07/2015)

Gonzo’s Antics – Memories of One Cool Cat | Part III : The Flying Feline

March 1, 2019

Author: Melissa Sitzman

Gonzo thoroughly enjoyed hiding under and attacking couch cushions! He was about 2 or 3 years old, here.

Part III :

The Flying Feline


After having to buy a new mattress, things settled down, nicely. Which left me time to think about decorating my condo. Since the living room had big vaulted ceilings and two sky lights, I decided I wanted to hang some plants. I did my research, and found out that Spider Plants (Chlorophytum comosum) are one of the safer plants you can have in a house, with cats.

So, I got a spider plant and one of those macramé plant hangers. I ended up hanging it in the living room, directly under a skylight and over the love seat. The plant loved its new home and it grew like crazy! It even started to “spider out,” after several months. I was really happy with it and even happier that Gonzo and Princess hadn’t noticed it! Or so, I thought……

It had been another long day at work. Only, I had switched jobs and now worked as a receptionist for a company in Boulder, Colorado. It was about a 35 minute commute. So, after battling traffic, I was happy to be home! I stuck my key into the door and turned the handle….chaos ensued.

Gonzo was swinging through the air, as if he were on a trapeze! All I could see was his butt, sticking up, out of the planter that had contained my spider plant. He was digging in the soil, as if searching for buried treasure. Soil and pieces of plant were everywhere! I was so shocked, all I could yell was, “Gonzo!”

Upon hearing that, Gonzo lifted his head, distracted from his adventure and let out a chattering noise that sounded like a dolphin! He realized he was in trouble. Yet, still swinging, and with potting soil stuck to his nose, he went back to digging. Only, with more urgency, as he knew his little adventure was coming to an end. I attempted to jump and grab at him but, he was too high up! “Get out of there,” I said in a half angry, half trying not to laugh, voice. I couldn’t reach him so, I started climbing onto the back of the love seat. As soon as I was within reaching distance, Gonzo leaped to escape! He took off running like a greyhound, chasing a rabbit.

I started cleaning his mess and, at first, was pretty pissed off about it. However, after seeing that it didn’t really do any damage and all the soil cleaned up with a little vacuuming, I giggled to myself. I took a step back and realized the distance that he had to have jumped, in order to even get into that pot! I still don’t know how he did it. It was at least a good 5 to 6 feet from the back of the love seat, to the pot that the plant was in!

I concluded that he was crazy and went looking for him, so he could be scolded. Everytime I got close to him, for the rest of the day, he took off running. After which, he would stop (once far enough away that there was no chance I could reach him), look right at me, and meow in triumph! Gonzo 2 – Humans 0

Gonzo’s Antics – Memories of One Cool Cat | Part II

February 25, 2019

Author: Melissa Sitzman

Gonzo – Wasn’t He A Gorgeous Cat!?

Part II


It was a hot summer day and work had been hell! I couldn’t wait to get home to relax and unwind. I usually took a shower after work because, being a veterinary assistant, is a dirty job. I was too tired, though. I just wanted to lay back on my bed and cool off.

I had a California king size waterbed, at that time. If you’ve never had a waterbed in the summer, you haven’t lived! You turn the heater for it off and it’s like laying in an ice box.

I was finally home! I put my purse down where I always kept it, next to the bed, and kicked my shoes off. I turned with my back towards the bed and plopped down on it with my entire body. SPLASH!! I screamed because the water was so cold and I was drenched!

Luckily the waterbed liner held up, keeping the water from flooding my condo or the condominium downstairs. I immediately suspected a cat popped the mattress but, couldn’t be sure. Being on the top floor made draining the water that remained in the mattress, a great time. I had hoses running out the window and down the side of the building to a grassy area.

Once all the water was cleaned up and I was left with a ton of wet towels, it was time to investigate. I started inspecting the mattress to see where the hole was. I couldn’t find it, at first. Then I saw it! At the very corner were three very distinct rips. It was a cat!!

My ex and I had adopted a second cat, a female that we named Princess. It was time to see which cat was guilty. I took each cat and gently pushed their paws so their nails came out and tried lining the nails up with the three tears. Princess was still too little. It didn’t match up.

As soon as I picked Gonzo up and walked over to the mattress, I knew he was guilty. He started wiggling and trying to get away from me! I managed to get him to calm down enough for me to try to see if his nails matched up to the rips.. BINGO! His nails lined up with those tears, perfectly!

I couldn’t be mad at him though, I should’ve known that waterbeds and cats, just don’t mix. Gonzo 1 – Humans 0

Gonzo’s Antics – Memories of One Cool Cat | Part I

Gonzo

February 22, 2019

Author: Melissa Sitzman

Part I


In 1999 I married my, now, ex husband and we bought a nice two bedroom condominium. It was on the top floor, had big vaulted ceilings and skylights and beautiful cream colored carpet. I worked as a veterinary assistant at a vet hospital that was just a few miles away. Despite being busy with work, I felt like something was missing from my life and decided I needed a pet!

I always had dogs while growing up but, didn’t think a condo would be ideal for one. So, I decided to go to the local animal shelter to look at cats. I had my heart set on adopting a black one because, they’re usually the last to be adopted.

There were so many cats there, I felt bad for the ones I passed by! They were all meowing and acting crazy, trying to get my attention. Then I came to a jet black cat with huge copper colored eyes. He didn’t make a sound and sat in a very “prim and proper” manner. I knew right then, he was the one!

I went and told the shelter staff which one I wanted to see, and was met with a sigh. The lady told me that I couldn’t adopt that one because he was scheduled to be euthanized the next day. She explained that he had an upper respiratory infection and had been sick for awhile. I was really upset! They were going to put him down over a respiratory infection!? Telling me that just made me want him more.

I demanded to talk to a supervisor and explained that I worked at a veterinary hospital. I told them I wanted to adopt him, despite him being sick! I knew he could get better after just a few days on antibiotics. After the supervisor realized that I worked at one of the veterinary hospitals that did spays and neuters for them, she agreed to let me take him home. However, it was under the condition that I had to return him, if he wasn’t better in one week. I agreed.

I filled out all the paperwork and took him home. I named him Gonzo because my sister in law had a cat named Fozzie. He recovered from his upper respiratory infection within three days so, I got to keep him! The veterinarian I worked for, thought he was about 9 months old and so, Gonzo’s antics began…..